whiskey-irish-coffee-keurig

A couple of months ago, we had the idea to fill our Keurig with Guinness Extra so it could spit out coffee stout. It was, perhaps, our worst idea of all time. (You can read about it here.) Recently, we thought to ourselves: How can we top that?

The answer: Fill the Keurig with whiskey, pop in a K-Cup, and receive an Irish Coffee with the push of a button. BOOM! Sorry, wheel; apologies, sliced bread, but it would appear there’s a new most brilliant idea in town.

Warning: Okay, before we go on, let’s get this out of the way—don’t fill your Keurig with whiskey. Alcohol is flammable. The Keurig is meant to be filled with water. Beer, while stupid, isn’t as dangerous as 80 proof whiskey. While we made it out without burning down the Cool Material office, it is definitely possible for you to start a fire and get hurt. 

With that out of the way, let’s get to how this brilliance transpired. First, like we did when we swapped water for beer, we ran the Keurig a few times with whiskey in it to clear out any H20 chambered in the device. No water would be diluting our terrible decision! The first few cups were definitely not infused with Jameson, as they smelled like the standard coffee we drink every morning. This lasts for 2-3 pours.

After the first few cups of java, you could tell the Keurig was pumping pure whiskey (and not exploding!). It started delivering a beverage that had the distinct smell of coffee and warm toffee. It smelled a bit like alcohol fumes (bad) but a lot like the innards of a Caramello (good). When you stuck your nose in the mug, you’d think it was a regular coffee with a splash of booze. Did it smell as good as an Irish coffee? No. Did it smell like hot garbage? Far from it.

But what about the taste? Did it taste like an Irish coffee? Yeah, kind of. But more than the cream-covered beverage served at fine establishments nationwide, this Keurig concoction tasted like the funky coffee your drafting teacher used to drink in high school. It definitely tasted like coffee. It definitely had boozy notes. It wasn’t… bad. It’s far from the best Irish coffee we’ve ever had (you can read about that one here), but we could stomach it. And it sure was better than hot fucking beer.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.