Remember Pebble, the smartwatch that raised around $20,000,000 on Kickstarter? Yeah, that’s chump change in comparison to what some breweries are looking for. The Brewers Association wants to raise the $213,000,000,000 needed to buy Anheuser-Busch InBev. Yes, billion. Why? Well, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ve noticed that big beer has been buying smaller breweries to help push craft beer off shelves and away from taps. Fearful of a future with little opportunity for upstart brewers, some craft brewers have launched Take Craft Back, a crowdfunding campaign to purchase AB InBev and keep the playing field fair. Included are Dogfish Head, Societe, Beachwood, Left Hand, and many others. Will they be successful? No. No they will not. At least we don’t think so, unless Bill Gates is a big fan of 120 Minute IPA. In fact, this is most likely a way to gain a few emails and rile up support. But it’s a clever campaign to raise awareness and donations won’t be collected until the goal is met, so that means you could probably score a free t-shirt.

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Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.